Brokeback Mountain (2005)

Holy crap the train at the start scared the shit out of me!

Ok for starters - who the fuck came up with this title? I’m almost certain that the gay porn industry pumped some serious dollar into brokeback. God the amount of ‘Bareback Mountain’ pornos that are around is astounding.

If i’m going to be honest i’m sorta in two minds about this one. I remember i was in grade 9 when it first came out. I don;t think i’d realised or maybe accepted that i was gay at this point, but i remember really being interested in what happened in the movie. I don’t think i even knew that gay film existed back then, all i’d really seen was Will and Grace on tv. There was a boy in my art class who was pretty camp, and i remember another boy walking past him and coughing ‘brokeback mountain’ as like a sort of pay out. I guess i would have felt more sorry for him if he wasn’t already a massive bitch himself. Fuck them both.

Anyway so brokeback is generally considered the greatest gay themed film of all time. Hugely successful, stellar cast, favourite to win the Oscar but controversially lost to Crash that year i think. Have to say the first time i saw it in 2012 i was sadly underwhelmed. I guess i was expecting this absolutely incredible, heart wrenching, erotic gay cowboy love story, and i think i’d forgotten that it was still mainstream hollywood and thus had to appeal to the masses, not just the horny gay teenagers. Don’t get me wrong it is a fantastic film and incredibly real, just not initially what i was expecting or hoping for! After seeing it a second time about a year later however i definitely was able to see it with a different perspective. I have seen a few more gay themed films now and it actually was refreshing to see a realistic gay relationship for what it was, as opposed to the usual kind of fantastical highly idealised gay relationships that we usually see in films obviously made for gay men to watch and enjoy.

I was actually heart broken the second time i saw it, like a little bit for the starcrossed lovers, but mostly for michelle williams character alma. oh my god like i realy felt for her, and could somehow relate. Like not that that’s ever happened to me personally but i can imagine, like seeing that happening and if that was happening to me i wouldn’t even like i don’t even know what i’d do. I’d probably just cry always like she did. Cuz u’d still be in love with him, and like u’d want to believe so badly that he was in love with u too like he’s been saying but he’s obviously been lying and like not even happy when he’s with you. Shit it’d just be so emotionally draining and upsetting. Like even more so because she could have told people but chances are they probably wouldn’t have believed her, and if they did then he probably would have got the shit kicked out of him and his dick ripped off, which although would enter your mind is still maybe a little bit extreme to wish upon someone.

Anne hathaway’s character though, like u sorta feel for her not knowing and stuff, but like she’s really hot and successful and knows what she’s doing and shit anyway so like i don’t really care.

Jack omg like i love him so much, his romantic scenarios where they live together on a little gay ranch being happy and growing old. Aww like it’s totally the kind of thing i’d dream up and tell someone but which they’d completely shoot down with some bullshit excuse even though IT COULD TOTALLY HAPPEN if anyone could take a chance and be fucking committed.

All in all i did really enjoy this one, and i can see why it’s at number one of all the must see lgbt films lists that u find, can’t say though that it’s at the very top of mine :)

- - - FAVOURITE MOVIE MOMENTS - - -

There’s a moment that goes for  like 5 seconds in the first part of the film when their on brokeback, and jack is singing at the absolute top of his lungs while ennis accompanies him with a stick on a teapot and then compliments him - it’s very cute :)

 Another part that i really randomly liked was when lureen is speaking to ennis on the phone, she says that she was never sure if Brokeback Mountain was a real location: "knowing Jack, it was probably some pretend place, where bluebirds sing and there's a whiskey spring...." The way she says it kinda nostalgic i think was really beautiful. Plus i loved finding out that the bluebirds and whiskey parts of this line are paraphrases from the American folk song "Big Rock Candy Mountain," which describe a mystical paradise from the point of view of a homeless, itinerant hobo.

MOVIE : Pretty good
HOTTNESS OF CAST : Yay ;)
CRY FACTOR : 0 tears

Also snaps to the clever kitten who came up with this artistic comparison ;)

Yeah i see what u did there! 

Prayers for Bobby (2009)

 

Ok, so now I've covered all the movies i saw pre writing of our great list - making Prayers for Bobby the first one i could watch and then cross off afterwards!!! It’s exciting ok.

 

Ok so first thing i realised about this movie is that it’s been clearly made for television :/ like there’s all these random scenes where it is supposed to then go to an add break and it’s heaps awkward, espesh in this one really emotional scene.. but not complaining, it’s good to see Sigourney’s finally stopped clogging up the big screen.

 

This was an interesting one to watch, like there was so many times when i was actually aggravated at what i was seeing, and not like in a gay pride defence kind of way, in like a omg there is so so many struggle-of-the-gays-living-in-the-80’s clichés in this and it’s upsetting me, like a movie that’s made for straight people to watch in an attempt to understand how we work and think at it’s basic. Lol ok not really, in fact even though it’s so ‘i don’t understand these feelings i have for boys’, ‘you will get aids and die’, i still really connected with it and loved it. When ur doing a coming out story from scratch in a couple of ours, obviously u have to kinda expect that everything is just going to happen really quickly. “oh gosh i’m gay, family hates me now, i act more girly, must move away, gay clubbing is hot, gay sex is hot, no one understands me, my life is depressing and shit”. It kinda just speeds through all the major issues without really delving too much into anything that u wouldn’t expect - the plot being quite broad and really easy to relate to ... and bobby was super cute :} so tragically easy to sympathize with; and even though i was committed to bobby’s story and invested in his wellbeing, i spent a lot of it not really thinking that we were going to learn anything profound about gay life and times. Again more just a dummies guide for breeders to understanding the gay coming out process. Stereotypes exists for a reason though i guess, for a lot of people it’s real, that shit doesn’t just get made up.

 

What surprised me though was the second half of this one. It goes along at a pretty standard gay film formula, but then to some extent that ends about half way through and it sorta continues further, and like more story begins to play out and other characters start developing. It was like ‘wow twist! Not expecting :O’. And omg it became actually really emotionally upsetting and like epic and totally not al all what i was expecting when i started. Don’t want to give too much away hey, but i ended up crying a shit load in this one :S 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

- - - FAVOURITE MOVIE MOMENTS - - -

Oh my goodness i think i just absolutely love Bobby’s darling cousin. Every scene that she’s in is brilliant and makes me want to be a better person like she is :D I haven’t got any photos of her above, in fact u may or may not notice i only included screen shots from the first part of the film - i dunno i just really didn’t want to give anything away in this one ;) promise it won’t happen again..

MOVIE : :D!!!
HOTTNESS OF CAST : ORGASMIC
CRY FACTOR : 8 tears

 

Another favourite moment of mine happened outside of the film viewing experience in fact, during my usual IMDB/Wikipedia stalk of the hottest cast members.

O M actual F G. Ryan Kelly who plays bobby, he hasn’t been in many movies, holy SHIT i found this one photo of him omg like i can’t even put proper sentences together thinking about it. Scrolling through his pics on imdb and totally was not expecting something of this magnitude to appear - seriously i’m pretty sure i jizzed my pants immediately when it came up on my screen. Holy fucking actual fuck :O i’m putting this in like right now. I was going back earlier tonight to find it and saw it and lost my fucking mind. Had to go drink some tea to calm myself. This kind of shit never happens to me over boys or movie stars or anything. If any pic has convinced me that love exists in the world, it's this.

 

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FUCK ME DEAD i still can't handle this. I have to go

Cabaret (1972)

I love surprises like this one. When i first rented out cabaret it was because i had it on my list of ‘Must See Movie Musicals’ rather than on the LGBT list, so you can imagine my excitement when random unexpected gayness started happening! ‘Omg totally adding this to the gay list and crossing it off!’ i get kinda excited when i can cross something off the list, not gunna  lie.

Subtle gay activity aside though, Cabaret deserves to be on the list i think anyway purely just for being a movie made for gay men to watch and love. I don’t even know where to start with this one, it’s just brilliant, like everything. Liza. Bob Fosse. —need i say more. Literally i’m not even going to, just watch it and u’ll know, and we’ll have this amazing interconnectedness moment of understanding, and we’ll probably feel compelled to virtually hug.

 

 

 

- - - FAVOURITE MOVIE MOMENTS - - -
Soooo many! I've tried to screen cap most of them above so u can better imagine what i'm talking about here.
Straight up in the opening scenes there is this wonderful moment where, Joel Grey who plays the emcee is singing the opening number 'Willkommen', and ur sitting there like oh lol he looks kinda funny, and this is a pretty weird song .. very weird - and then it cuts to this woman sitting in the audience with the greatest '... the fuck??' expression on her face that i've ever seen xD it's priceless and just sets off the mood for the entire rest of the film.
Bob Fosse chorie is particularly outstanding in this one i think - i also love watching these kinda older films and seeing classic dance moves he did that u recognise from recent movies that current choreographers have obviously just not come up with themselves. I love his directing as well - it looks real, like it feels like ur watching something that's actually happening. The chorus isn't produced in a studio, the camera picks up random bad angles of the actors, they have wierd voce moments and expressions - i love it :D
I love everything about Sally - i wish i was her.
I love the random drag queen in the cabaret.
I love movie musicals like these where the production numbers are done on the side to reinforce the plot (kinda makes me feel smart cuz it's subtle lol)

My favourite hot gay moment has to be when Brian and Sally are over at Max's house, and the three are dancing intimately together in a wine-induced reverie. It's funny cuz sally has been trying hard to seduce max and we all kinda think she's succeeding, but at the same time wishfully thinking that all the male characters are secretly gay for eachother (as we do in all films.. don't we?) Anyway they're in this kinda group embrace with their faces literally cm away from each other, and the music awkwardly stops playing and they're kinda looking at eachother drunkedly, ...and u all of a sudden realise that everyone has just gotten hard :O and the two guys are looking at eachother, and we're thinking 'omg they're going to have hot gay SEX!!?' it's like the twist that u totally wish would happen in all other films, but possibly still wishfull thinking. That moment where ur like hopefull and there's been all these signs, but it's still kind of unknown?! that shit is hotter than any kind of porn i reckon. And u'll just have to watch the movie urself to find out if the boys really do get it on ;) omg i know right! just do it

MOVIE : ORGASMIC
HOTTNESS OF CAST : Yay ;) but with a few Om nom nom moments lol
CRY FACTOR : 0 tears